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Send Love Over the Fence

Updated: Nov 3, 2020

Love really is the only answer... and while we are working on personal growth and being more loving, a little creative name calling can help.

(Transcript of "Love and Light" segment of Sunday Good Time Hour)

Hello Beautiful People,

I am here today to remind you that as ridiculous as it may sound, Love really is THE answer.

While I often present as a tutu-wearing Ridiculator extraordinaire, bringer of the bashment, celebrant of the sacred silly, I am really just a quasi regular person with a pissy temper and ordinary real life pains in the guzica. In that spirit, today’s ridiculous tale of Love and Light starts with my belligerent bottlerocket of a neighbor.

I’m sorry.

I realize that name calling is an act of violence and this is a love and light segment.

In this case I worked really hard to wean myself down to made up nuisance insults only…

Please be patient with me,

growth is a process.

So, my family and I have been harassed by this ingrown toenail impersonator since we moved into our house over two years ago. Nothing blatantly illegal, just consistent low level toxicity that’s irritating as hell, kind of like a fiberglass undershirt. Two weeks ago it all culminated in this red faced, spitting tirade while we were building our new fence. He stormed and screamed and made a general and rather specific nuisance of himself. The situation could have dangerously escalated multiple times… and we shouted back more than once. But in the end, our response was love.


Love is truly the most powerful action in the world.

Real Love, now... not to be confused with wishy washy, cellophane packaged sentimental greeting card loves OR baking cookies, accepting bad behavior, and trying to make nice again love. Those are all just lovely facades.

I’m thinking more love of a million mothers fiercely protecting their children. Love that shouts from the mountaintops, demands action, and creates safety in the midst of terror. Love that soothes the inconsolable. Love that finds some way to feed an empty belly.

Love is one bad assed action verb, Beautiful People, and in this moment, building a big ole beautiful fence was our most loving course of action.

Soldiers of love are often met with opposition.

These moments are best seen as opportunities to be who we say we are. And that, dear friends, is SUPER hard. Bottlerockets of grossness, threats, and aggression, are upsetting. We got angry. Like super, duper, mega expletive angry. Individually and collectively we wanted to respond by throwing a reflection of his grossness right back in his face. But trading bitters would do little more than poison our own spirits. Being completely nonresponsive to him was our most loving course of action. Focusing our energies on taking care of each other instead of being right was the most loving course of action.

We built around ignorance.

We held tightly to each other for strength. We shared the burden of the bitter so too much wasn’t too poisonous to any one person. We poured love into the concrete, screwed it into the posts, nailed it into the pickets, & secured it to the gate. We ate and drank, and as soon as we had it in us, we laughed and danced. We ridiculated the fence with my very first tutu and dedicated it in memory of our dearly departed friend Bob.

We named it The Fence That Love Built and it feels like an energetic fortress.

Ridiculating is sometimes silly, sometimes outrageous, sometimes challenging, sometimes completely dismissed. It is always based in love. When we are being accosted by hateful people, everything in us may want to lash out.

Finding space for love is a truly radical act.

It saves us from becoming hate-filled people.

Our neighbor will likely continue to act like a petulant, obnoxious brat, and as for me and my house, we will respond with Love. (and you know, work on the name calling).

Beautiful People, don’t forget to Ridiculate your life in all sorts of ways!

Choose the most loving course of action.

Set clear and firm boundaries.

Share joy and take good care of each other.

And try each day, as hard as it may be, to send just a little love over the fence.

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